[UPDATE 1752 CST] It has come to my attention (sorry Bob, so sorry, really, I truly am) that one should avoid eating or drinking when reading this. (REALLY am sorry, Bob, hope that doesn't scald).
We now return you to your regularly scheduled tomfoolery.
Martin Lewis must come from a loving family. A family that loves Martin and Lewis, that is, since their offspring must have been named for Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
What bothers me most is that the man is serious in what he suggests. I can't even begin to describe the way my brain began spasming, convulsing, and shaking in utter incomprehensible disbelief at the information my eyes were sending to it.
First I laughed.
Then I reread it and laughed some more.
Somewhere in the raucous laughter and gasping for air, from some corner in my mind's deep dark recesses (and my mind is a scary place to be, folks, let me tell you), I could hear the voice of Mr. T saying "I PITY the fool."
Which of course made me laugh all the harder.
OH, what did I read that sent me into such fits of laughter?
That would be Martin Lewis' (God the NAME ITSELF just ASKS for laughter, doesn't it?) column at Huffington Post.
BE WARNED, STUPIDITY CAN BE A CONTAGIOUS CONDITION!
Make sure you proceed cautiously over the next few moments in reading JUST A SAMPLING of what the clown prince of slapstick suggests...
General Pace, You Can Save the US - by Arresting Bush for "Conduct Unbecoming"
General Peter Pace
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
400 Joint Staff Pentagon
Washington, D.C. 20318-0400
Dear General Pace,
I note with admiration your courage in making clear your private concerns about the safety of the US military and the longterm danger to US national security caused by the President's stubborn refusal to acknowledge the quagmire in Iraq.
Though you are Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the President's principal military advisor - President Bush has shown his disdain for your honesty and wisdom. Though you are a decorated Vietnam war hero - who has served his nation honorably for four decades - the President is dispensing with your services. You have one month left in your position before you are tossed out by the President.
President Bush is going to ignore your advice. Just as he has ignored the advice of other Generals who have had the courage to respectfully point out how terribly wrong he is in respect of the Iraq War and the safety of the US military he is sworn to protect. Highly-decorated colleagues of yours such as General Anthony Zinni (Commander in Chief of U.S. Central Command), General Eric Shinseki (Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army) and General John Abizaid (Commander of the U.S. Central Command).
General Pace - you have the power to fulfill your responsibility to protect the troops under your command. Indeed you have an obligation to do so.
You can relieve the President of his command.
Not of his Presidency. But of his military role as Commander-In-Chief.
You simply invoke the Uniform Code Of Military Justice.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA (sob, gasp) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ok, fit of laughter over.
Let's be clear about something here.
The President is the top of the chain of command for ALL branches of the military.
HE'S STILL A CIVILIAN!
The President is not SUBJECT to UCMJ (for those of you who don't know because you haven't been in the military or just don't know because, well, you just don't know, that stands for Uniform Code of Military Justice).
Let me say this one more time, and I want it to be put forth as matter of public record MY OWN response to Martin Lewis' suggestion.
Here it is.
Ok, I'm out of breath...
Someone notify the Centers for Disease Control before this virus reaches pandemic proportions?
Once and Always, an American Fighting Man
(oh my stars and garters that's just funny)